Welcome to The Get Real Podcast, your high-octane boost and in the trenches tell-it-like-it-is reality therapy for personal, business and real estate investing success with your hosts, power-preneurs Angela and Ron. It’s time to get real!

Angela: Hey, welcome to The Get Real Podcast. I’m Angela Thomas and I’m here with Ron Phillips. Today, hey Ron. Hey. So today we really, I know we’ve hit on this subject a little bit before, but we want to just talk a little bit more about how you can find success by accepting full responsibility in your life for everything. And Ron, like why did we feel that was important?

Ron: Well, you know I’m around pretty high-level people most of the time, you know, I mean, except for on Facebook and we’ll talk about that in a minute. But I mean, even on Facebook, I’m surrounded by high-level people all the time, right. And it doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s really successful financially successful people or not so successfully financial people just, you know, everybody seems to be hindered greatly by this blame everybody except for yourself mentality. Find someone that you can blame for your crap that’s going wrong in your life when in reality it’s your own fault. I mean, unless we’re talking about, unless we’re talking about cancer, which you have no control over, right. But you do have control over what you do when you get it. I mean, we all have bad things that happen to us. Some of them directly caused by our own actions and some of them that just happened to us just life happens, you know? But to the extent that we find someone to blame or someone to be angry, that man, it just kills any progress that we could have in our life just destroys it. And I think the reason we didn’t talk about it today, Angela, is because you and I see it all over the place. I mean, it’s just insane. And it’s even worse now with Facebook I think, because everybody can just get on there and feel like they can just, you know, complain about anything.

Angela: Rant and… Yeah. And it’s really easy to, and this is a bit harsh, but it’s really easy to take something that you perceive as negative in your life or something that happened to you or you know, even a failure that you’ve had personally. It’s easy to look for. You know what to blame for it so you don’t feel bad. And then also, you know, the more negative thoughts you have about that particular thing, it escalates it just gets worse. If you know, if you think your marriage is bad, you know, I’ve been married a decade now, so I’m a baby with this, but I have some idea. If you think your marriage is going down hill and, you know, you don’t feel close to your spouse and you feel you just negative about it and resentful and mad at them, it just makes the problem worse. Does that make you closer to them? Definitely not. If you’re, you know, over sitting in your corner, just mad at him, expecting them to fix it and usually blaming them. I mean, I’ve done this I know I have blaming them for causing the problem to begin with. And I think we do that in all the areas of our life, not just marriage, so.

Ron: Absolutely. I mean that’s really good example. And I think anytime that we’re, anytime that we’re looking at our spouse and saying, man, I wish he or she were X, Y, Z, right? I wish they were this way. Kind of got to look at yourself and go, well, am I the kind of person who would even attract that type of a human being? I mean, because let’s say they were that, would they want to hang out with me? Probably not, right. So look in the mirror first and I, and you know, there’s a whole bunch of crap that we can fix about ourselves that makes us, well, it makes us better, which, which makes it so that it’s easier to live with someone else to work with someone else to work with someone else.

Angela: Oh, right. The only person you can focus on is yourself. If you work on yourself and you start acting more like the person you want your spouse to be or whatever the case may be, that’s what actually works. Because you end up showing them more love and setting, you know and example, I don’t want to say an example that sounds dumb, but you know what I mean you have to be the one to…

Ron: Be the person that you want to be around. You got to be the person because whatever you are is what you’re going to attract. And you know, speaking of Facebook, I get a little bit, I get a little bit pissed off about Facebook sometimes I love Facebook because it connects me to people that I otherwise probably wouldn’t be connected with. You know, people from high school and stuff like that, which is fun.

Angela: Which is why we can’t let it go.

Ron: Yeah, right, right. You know keep up with everybody. I’m on there and people get on there and they complain about stuff all the time. And occasionally I’ll get on there and I’ll just say, man, you’re never going to attract any success into your life if all you do is bitch all day on Facebook, start being positive. And then a couple of instances that’s gone into like a private message where I’m able to get in there and go, listen, if you want success in any part of your life, you cannot be spewing negativity all of the time because positive people do not like hanging out with negative people. So if you want to be, you know, they’re kind of pissed that they’re not this other person, right. That they don’t have the cool stuff that somebody else has or you know, all of that. And yet in order to get that stuff or in order to figure out how to become like that individually, you’d have to hang around them at some point, which is impossible if all you do is complain about everything all the time because those people don’t do that they don’t like hanging out with people who do.

Angela: Cool. Yeah. On that note, I mean, you know, the first step is responsibility for where you’re at and, you know, turning you’re thinking positive. Like you said, Ron, but I do want to mention another part of accepting responsibility it’s not just being positive, like there’s so much focus out there, which is great on changing your mindset and being positive and imagining where you want to be. And I completely believe in all that 100% but you have to take the next step after that full responsibility, it’s not just your mindset, it’s not just imagining where you want to be. You have to actually stop the wishful thinking and the dreaming and take steps towards whatever it is you’re trying to change actual steps everyday. So that’s how you get the momentum to make it easier and keep tackling the bigger challenges. I just wanted to point that out.

Ron: This is a really good point because I learned this back when I was in high school and I was on the wrestling team and my coach would tell us, you know, visualize yourself, you know, hitting the take down and like visualize all the pieces of that in your mind over and over and over again. And that works if you show up to practice the next day, right. You can’t just go over and over and over in your mind and then just magically think it’s going to happen. But I will tell you this, it 100% increases your ability to perform the task if you go practice the task physically after you do it mentally. And if you can combine both of those, like you were saying, Angela, it becomes very powerful way to take something out of your brain and actually make it happen in the real world. And I think people don’t realize that, but you’re right. You got to do the work to, I mean dreaming about it isn’t going to do any good. It’ll, well, I guess if you just want to be pissed off that it’s never happening you could just daydream about it.

Angela: Yeah. Ron, according to the secret code I mean, don’t you just, you know, make a vision board and then dream, imagine it every morning and then the cosmos are going to give it to you, right. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work? Come on.

Ron: Uh, well it would be really cool if it did, I guess because then everybody, then everybody would stop bitching about things, right?

Angela: Yeah. As long as they’re mind was powerful enough, but hasn’t worked for me.

Ron: If you just put it on the wall it will magically happen.

Angela: That’d be cool. That would be awesome.

Ron: I do believe that you should dream big. I do believe that you should have your version of a vision board. I don’t have pictures, but those goals and things that you put up, those are critical. Like you were saying, Angela, but they don’t just, I don’t care what book you read, they don’t just magically appear. They do happen. We, well, like one of the first episodes we did, I think I held up my, didn’t I hold up my goals?

Angela: Yeah you did.

Ron: It’s important but the other piece of that story was that I put in the work to actually make that happen, right. But without the goal, without the vision, without the drive, I wouldn’t have succeeded in those goals I any of these actually, right?

Angela: Yeah. You got to have both of those together or it never works. So, but what about Ron, you know, I don’t want to get you all riled up here, but what about people out there that really think there is, I mean, you mentioned cancer, but you know what, if you’re just born in the worst circumstances ever in another country, I mean, does this, I mean, you know, there’s some times are circumstances completely out of your control, you know, what do you do then? How do you, how do you apply these principles you know?

Ron: Well, let’s talk about financial because it’s one of the easiest things for people to understand, right? Some people are born and they, and they’re born to a family that has money. They’ve already been financially successful out of the gate they got a leg up on everybody else. Is that true? 100% it’s true. Yeah absolutely. What is it about that that necessarily stops me on my path? And what is it about that person over there having money that makes it so that I can’t? That’s what I, that’s what I would post anybody out there, right. What, what is it? Because it’s buck kiss, there’s nothing that stops me from actually and I didn’t grow up with money. So here I am, you know, somewhat financially successful. I’m not a billionaire, right.

Angela: You do alright.

Ron: I didn’t start with money. I started with nothing. And then I have, and then I’ve lost everything a couple of other times and built it back. So it frustrates me to no end where people say, I was born in this city, in the inner city and because of that, I can’t do it. Or because I am X ethnicity, I can’t do something or because the color of my skin, I can’t do something or because you know, you name it, you name the, the supposedly deficits that a person has and I’ll come back and point to people who have less than they did of all of those things and who have succeeded. And I’ll ask you what’s the difference between them and what in you? The only difference, the outlying difference is they had a vision and they relented pursued it until they got it right. That’s the only difference. And let me say one more thing about these people who mogul back to Facebook again because Facebook pisses me off occasional.

Angela: Alright Ron rant, lets go.

Ron: Let’s keep it real for everybody out there. Okay. I understand that people in our country, there are the poorer or less fortunate people in our country, but there is nowhere on the planet were a person starting out less fortunate, can become fortunate and can bless the lives of their children and other people basically unencumbered by the government. And it’s not entirely true because there’s taxes and a whole bunch of other bs. But in our country you can actually overcome that. So many other countries you can’t. So all the people out there talking to them and complaining about being poor, number one, nobody in America knows what poor is not a soul. There isn’t a soul in America who knows what poor is. You want to know what poor is you best go visit a third world country and then come back and talk to me about poor, okay. Because the poor in America have televisions, they have cars, they have cell phones, they have plenty of food. If you’re starving in America, it’s, I mean, there’s programs out there that will give you food. I’m sorry, okay. Go to another country where they don’t have running water, where they have dirt floors where they have 10 on top as the roof, which just bakes them inside of that house, I’ve seen this. So you want to talk about poor, go somewhere where there’s actual poor and then come back and then let’s have a bitch session about poor. Until then, my suggestion would be get your, get your goals and your vision put together and then get up off your butt and go make it happen. Because tons of people have done that and there’s nothing keeping anybody else from doing it. I’m going to take a breath for a second.

Angela: That was well said. Thanks Ron. I completely agree with that. So that being said, I’d like to just talk about a couple different ways we can take responsibility for our life. So, I mean we talked about this a lot, but the first one is taking complete responsibility for where you’re at right now. And then your thoughts, feelings, your words, everything you do, everything.

Ron: And words are so critical. How you talk to yourself, how you talk to other people about yourself and the words you use are very powerful and they’re equally as powerful about how you talk about other people and how you talk to other people about them. So be careful with your words.

Angela: That all directly affects your confidence, um, and the way you feel about yourself so it’s all super important. Number two, I mean, we talked about this a lot, is stop blaming. I mean, you know, if there’s a problem in your marriage, it’s not your spouse. I mean, unless, I mean there’s some extreme, there’s extreme circumstances I’m not going to say there’s not, you know, if you’re, if you’re experiencing some kind of abuse, you need to get out. But if they’re just making you angry and you guys aren’t getting and you’re mad at each other, you don’t blame your spouse alright and the same with anything else going on in your life. Stop blaming any circumstances that are happening too you there’s always something you can do to step forward. Number three, Ron rant, stop complaining. Cut it out. I did read a study somewhere that said, uh, and I, and I’m sorry I don’t have the source here, but said that complaining actually makes you live longer because it releases stress.

Ron: Go to the gym. Stop complaining and go to the gym.

Angela: So, Ron, you’re going to be shocked by this, but I signed up for a boxing class last night. We’ll see how that goes.

Ron: That fits your personality.

Angela: Dude I want to punch something, you know, and if I get some exercise at the same time, so be, it. Sounds good.

Ron: That does sound like a win win.

Angela: Yeah. Yeah. So instead of complaining to release my stress, I’m going to try hitting something. Because complaining, I feel like every time I, you know, every time you complain, you forget to be grateful. You don’t, you don’t think about what you’re thankful for and all the good things happening in your life. You just, it just, it snowballs and it’s a negative, awful cycle and it makes you feel sad.

Ron: Which was the point that I was talking about right. Because I kind of hit the, I hit the people a little bit in the mouth about, you know, talking about they don’t have enough and everything else and that’s basically what I was trying to say. Be grateful that you don’t have a dirt floor, right. Be grateful that you got a house. You know, it might not be the nicest house in the world or that you’ve got the apartment, you’ve got somewhere that you can sleep that’s warm, right. Be grateful for all that stuff. Be grateful for the TV and the cable that you have, right. And the phone and the car….

Angela: And I know this a little bit like a wishing for good things to come in your life, but I swear, you know, call it Karma, call it whatever you want. Every time I’m grateful for everything in my life you just seem to get more it puts you in the right mindset. It moves you in the right direction, you take steps the right way it kind of guides you and you just can’t help but end up with more in your life. That’s my experience. So, okay, next one is refused to take anything personally. So that’s another one kind of related to complaining, but no one’s out to get you. I mean, sadly enough, most people in the world don’t really care what you do or who you are, unfortunately for us.

Ron: I find it a little bit interesting that people feel like people actually care that much about them that they would be trying to tear them down, right.

Angela: Yeah. Yeah. Most things are so completely not personal because every single one of us are wrapped up in our own little world and our mind and not really thinking about, you know, not trying to hurt other people, but if it happens, it’s usually not intentional. So try to remember that, that people aren’t, you know, after you and don’t take it personally. So the next one I would say is make yourself happy and goes along with the gratitude. I think I told you on a previous episode that I recently started back up with voice lessons and maybe that’s…

Ron: And I still have not heard any.

Angela: I know, I know I’m going to release someone YouTube, but I don’t know if I want to tell anybody where they are so we’ll see. Maybe all announced one down the road. But the point is, was singing for me, it’s an outlet. It’s maybe a weird hobby to some people, but singing makes me happy it gives me endorphins it’s almost like working out. It’s not quite like hitting something, but it makes me happy. You got to take the time even if you know it’s, you don’t have to pay for voice lessons. There’s something you can do in your life that you know, makes you happy and you need to make sure you’re doing it every day.

Ron: And I’m a firm believer in that, that happiness is a choice. You can either choose when you wake up in the morning, all of us have our crap that we have to deal with all of us, me, Angela, everybody has crap they got to deal with. So the choices are we going to deal with it happily or are we going to deal with it and be, you know, the person, nobody wants to hang around. It’s our choice how we deal with the challenges that come our way because we will all have challenges. So it’s a choice. Wake up and choose to be happy tomorrow, right. It’s not that hard. It’s about as hard as waking up and choosing to be unhappy.

Angela: So my three year old, I have a three year old little boy that’s really, really adorable, but he, this morning actually said he’s like, mom, I was like, yeah, Alex. He’s like, today is going to be a great day. And I don’t know why he said that. Just a little three year old that’s, I don’t know why he said it or what he was thinking, but I thought it was really cute.

Ron: Out of the mouth of babes.

Angela: And Yeah, when you wake up in the morning, say today is going to be a great day and it’ll just get you in that, you know, gets you down the right path. Next one is live in the present moment. So we talked about you need to make, you know, having goals and a vision for your life is super important we know that and visualizing it, but you need to focus on the next, you know, 24 hours. It never works to focus on even like with something like weight loss, it never works to be like, hey, I’m starting Monday and I’m going to eat healthy the whole week and unless on Monday you’re thinking today I’m going to make these correct decisions and go to bed having only eaten these things and worked out this long. If you’re not if you’re not focusing on that on each specific day on Monday and you know it’s going to be Friday and you’re going to be back to Saturday and be like, well, I guess I’m starting Monday again.

Ron: And that’s the only day you can start anyway.

Angela: Right it’s always Monday.

Ron: You can only start on Monday that’s the only day that’s allowed.

Angela: And if you mess up on Tuesday, you, you’re back to starting on Monday.

Ron: That’s right. So you should definitely destroy your plan the rest of the week. So you have that much more to do Monday when you restart. Yes, absolutely.

Angela: Amen. Amen. But my point with that, you know, living in the present moment, I mean, it also means to be grateful and happy with what’s around you and enjoy the moment and not live for some future goal because you have a lot to be grateful for in your life right now. But it’s also applies to taking responsibility and taking steps towards your goals. You need to focus on them today. Today’s the only day that matters, right.

Ron: Yup. And that’s how, how do you focus on what the future’s going to be? It’s by making sure today is how it, how your plan is supposed to be, right? So focus on today because you can be present in the moment and at the same time you could be moving forward because you’re hitting your goals on a daily basis. Well said Angela.

Angela: Exactly. Thanks Ron. Alright the next one is a using the power of intention, which goes along with all the rest of these. But you intend, you know, today too to make your goals happen and no matter what happens in the future, I intend to make it happen today. Is there anything else?

Ron: I’m just going to slide one in there with this one because it kind of works the same way and that is to ask for help from people who already have what you want. If you go to the gym. The craziest thing when I go to the gym and the new people that come in the gym in January, because there’s a bunch of them, right. They come in there and they seem to be like intimidated by the fit people in the gym, the fit people in the gym already have what they want. It should be that you go in there and you ask like ask for help and the craziest thing happens. But by you know, use the power of intention. Be Intentional about it. If you want your body to look like this body over here, go find out what they do.

Angela: Okay. So Ron, since I’ve been that anxious person before and you know, I feel out of place in a gym, what would you do if some random person walks up to you and says, Hey, you know, where do I, where do I start? How do I get going?

Ron: Okay. And this is a great question because I am the antisocial gym guy. I’m the guy who’s plugged into this, the headphones and I talked to nobody.

Angela: So I’d have to come like tap your shoulder, which would take a lot of confidence.

Ron: Yeah. So ask them on the way in our, ask them on the way out because then I’m not antisocial gym guy anymore. But here’s the thing, if you can’t figure out how to use a machine or if you need someone to help you spot you or anything about that, and it’s this is the same in financial world, same in the business world. The people who are successful are happy to share. They’re happy to teach because they’ve spent years developing their body or developing their business or developing their finances. Those people are the most likely to share for somebody who actually gives a crap, right. The people who come into the gym and don’t give a crap, and we know they’re going to be gone in a week because you know, Monday happened and they weren’t into it on this Monday, they’re going to come back next Monday then they never come back. Those people, nobody wants to put in the time to help them, but people who actually have a goal and want something, they’re willing to help. I’ve seen it a million times when I was speaking in OREIA, Ohio real estate investors association. It was crazy we had some people come up and ask questions and then people in the audience were like, well I can help you with that. There are people who live locally, not me, right. I live quite a ways away. They’re like, I can help you with that. Happy to volunteer to help and all you have to do is ask the question.

Angela: You’re surrounded by people that can help, right. You have to ask.

Ron: So be intentional about it and go ask for help. If you don’t know the answer, you don’t understand, instead of complaining that you can’t ever get ahead.

Angela: Alright. And if anyone out there not to put a plug in for us but wants help from Ron, you know, he’s happy to talk about any subject that you want to hear about or want more education on so, you know, feel free to let us know. Thanks Ron. That’s awesome. The last one is just, I mean, feeling calm and confidence. And a lot of that confidence and calm come from feeling the gratitude and knowing you’re moving in the right direction and you know, having that, you know, when you’re filled with gratitude you like, you can’t help but like, you know, look at everyone from a kinder point of view and have a loving heart, which helps you feel calm and confident. And you know, a lot of people also use prayer, meditation, whatever it is that helps you get to that right place. But that’ll help you stay steady on these goals and not, you know, not get frustrated and be able to ask for help. It takes a little bit of confidence, humility, to actually ask for help from somebody who knows more about something than you do.

Ron: Yep absolutely.

Angela: So that’s it. Anything else Ron?

Ron: The world doesn’t owe you anything and yet you can go get anything that you want. That sums it up, I think.

Angela: Thank you. Perfect. Alright, so thanks for joining us. Like I said, if there’s anything you guys want us to talk about or you want, you know, learn more about, feel free to contact us on GetRealEstateSuccess.com you can subscribe there or let us know if there’s anything else you want to hear. Thanks for joining. Thanks, Ron.

Ron: Awesome. If you liked it, like it, leave a comment.

Angela: Yeah. Thank you.

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