Welcome to The Get Real Podcast, your high-octane boost and in the trenches tell-it-like-it-is reality therapy for personal, business and real estate investing success with your hosts, power-preneurs Angela and Ron. It’s time to get real!

Angela: Hey everybody. Welcome to the Get Real Podcast. This is Angela Thomas and I’m here with Ron Phillips. Hey Ron.

Ron: Hey hey.

Angela: For anyone who can’t see the video thing here. Ron looks tired today, so.

Ron: I am a little tired today. We’re going to try to not let that affect our show today though.

Angela: Yeah. And I told him he just needs to enjoy life more because it’s a, John Maxwell says enjoying life, enjoyment is an incredible Energizer of the human spirit, Ron. Yeah.

Ron: So, I mean, I enjoy the show, does that work?

Angela: Yeah. If you enjoy it enough to energize your spirit, that’s awesome.

Ron: I’m already feeling more energized.

Angela: Good, good.

Ron: Just having started the show more energized. People can probably see that on the video.

Angela: Check it out. YouTube. So yeah today we’re going to talk about enjoying your journey to success.

Ron: Oh my gosh. So I segwayed us, that’s what you’re saying.

Angela: You did, yeah. Thanks for that lead in there.

Ron: I was so tired today everybody, because Angela needed a segway.

Angela: I did. It was perfect. Good job.

Ron: You’re welcome.

Angela: Yeah. So this is this topic. Man. How, I mean we all get mired down in the day to day stuff, trying to reach our goals. We’ve talked a lot about goals on here. Whether you’re building a business or trying to build your retirement, your financial future, trying to get out of the rat race and be free, like we all are, right.

Ron: Become fat.

Angela: Is that one of your goals right now? It’s one of mine too.

Ron: No, I’m not fat. I wasn’t talking about me.

Angela: Oh, okay. Okay.

Ron: I am not fat, right now.

Ron: Good job Ron. Whatever you’re trying to reach. There’s this idea kind of out there that, you know, you’ll enjoy yourself once you reach that destination and you know, you got to work, work, work until you get there and then your life will be great.

Ron: And is it, I mean, is that really, I mean, have we ever reached a goal and then everything is just magically blissful?

Angela: Not for me.

Ron: I mean I guess in that one thing, but then it seems to me that when that happens then I’m immediately bored.

Angela: Yeah. Whether it’s a monetary goal…

Ron: Like I am no longer fulfilled because they already did it and done.

Angela: Yeah. Because the energy cause you get joy and energy working towards that goal or I do anyway, you know. Yeah. It’s exciting and I enjoy working towards a goal, but yeah, waiting until you reach a goal to feel joy is crazy. Nobody should be doing that. So yeah.

Ron: This is a great topic because how many, how many people are stuck in this rut all the time? I see it on Facebook all the time. So I don’t know about the Twitter sphere, is that what it’s called?

Angela: Twitter spehere. Oh crap. We are aging ourselves again.

Ron: Or Instagram or any of the other ones. But I know about Facebook and there’s a lot of people stuck in this rut on Facebook. I can tell you that.

Angela: What I always see on there is people trying to survive Monday and then Tuesday and then humpday and then yay, it’s Friday and now we can finally enjoy life because it’s the weekend, which is also crazy.

Ron: Yeah but then on Saturday, those same people usually post something negative about their day.

Angela: Well they start dreading Monday again.

Ron: Oh is that it? Oh man.

Angela: It’s a rough way to live. I don’t know. I don’t really like that.

Ron: That’s literal hell on earth right there.

Angela: I know. Yeah.

Ron: How would you deal with it, Angela? What’s the, I mean…

Angela: Well first I wanted to say like, yeah. Waiting. So if you’re waiting to feel happiness or joy when you hit that goal, there’s kind of a difference there. You can feel joy the whole way. I think what you’re waiting for is like happiness, which I would define as being a more shallow form of joy. Like it’s temporary, right.

Ron: This reminds me of something momentous in my life. I remember this very distinctly.

Angela: Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. I remember I was a teenager, which is an unhappy time in life, occasionally. Mine was pretty happy.

Angela: For some people, yeah.

Ron: But I remember this one particular time when it was not so happy and man, I remember that I was talking to my mom, she said something about, well, you know, find some joy in, you know, whatever this thing was. And I said, I don’t really want any joy, I would like some happiness right now.

Angela: Really. You said that?

Ron: I do. I remember saying that because as you rightly pointed out, there is a difference between joy and happiness and joy requires work and happiness just really doesn’t, I mean some of you can just be happy sometimes and it’s fleeting. But if you can just get a little bit of it and makes you feel good. It’s kind of like a sugar.

Angela: Yeah. The pursuit of happiness. We’re all running after it. I mean, I experienced…

Ron: Or what I assume what crack is like, I don’t know, maybe.

Angela: I think everyone that too, if you think back to when you were a teenager, the first time I got a car that wasn’t an absolute piece of crap falling apart, bright green truck. I actually got a Mitsubishi Eclipse as my first cool car, okay. It was a long time ago back then it was cool okay. And it had a, you know, a stick shift manual. I felt so cool in it. Like the roof went up and it was silver. I thought it was the coolest car ever. Finally bought that car. And I remember driving it home and I was like, nah, it’s just a car, whatever. Like I was happy for like five seconds in that car and then I’m driving it and I’m like, well, it’s just like any other car, you know? Who cares? So that was, I mean, I seriously felt happiness for, I mean, that’s really sad.

Angela: Hopefully other people feel a longer, but I felt happiness for a couple minutes, you know? It was really pathetic. So we really want to feel joy because joy can be felt in everything you do. It’s not something you’re going out and trying to get a hit of, right. Like happiness, like crack. So joy can enrich everything you do and you don’t have to wait to feel it. So it comes, joy comes from within. It doesn’t come from obtaining a new car or reaching some goal or you know, whatever it is that you’re working towards. Joy has to come from you, right.

Ron: Yeah. Because it can’t come from our circumstances, right. There is a really good quote that I love? It says the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.

Angela: Oh, that’s interesting. That’s cool.

Ron: And I mean I’ll just throw this out there. I lived in Brazil for a couple of years and man you want to talk about some people who have nothing. Like I went into houses where the people had dirt floors, no running water type of a thing, right? But it didn’t matter, they felt joy all the time. Hardworking folks. And they were happy all the time too, right. Just constantly happy. And you know, here in America we get in these ruts because we’re chasing something down that we think is going to make us happy. When in reality it’s going to be like your Eclipse.

Angela: Exactly. Exactly.

Ron: You get there and then you feel pretty good for a second and then you got to have another something that you can shoot for. And nothing wrong with that, right? I’m a big believer in goals, but…

Angela: No, we love that. And that’s the American way to chase down those goals, you know, I’m not saying don’t do that, but feeling joy in the process and in every day is a choice. And it’s one you have to learn. It’s a habit. And I’m not saying, you know, I’m perfect at it. It’s really easy to get mired down and listen to that voice in your head we’ve talked about that just tells you, you know, that makes a big deal out of everything and interprets your life for you and tells you that, you know, your house not selling fast enough is the worst thing ever. And your life’s ruined. No, whatever it is.

Angela: You know, there’s an issue with your property that you’re buying. You know, the tenant moved out before they were supposed to or you know, you find out you’re going to have to replace something that you thought you didn’t have. You know, whatever it is, you know, working towards these goals is great and it enriches your life. But there’s going to be bumps along the way, you know, it’s not just, it’s not just you go for a goal in a straight line.

Ron: And the question is, how do we find joy in that experience that’s a negative experience, Angela? Because what you’re saying is that we can have, we can find joy in this journey even if the journey has these crazy bumps in it, right?

Angela: Does it always, it always does. I’ve never, ever had a like, straight line path to whatever goal I’m trying to reach, right? There’s always curve ball after curve ball and all kinds of, you know, surprises in there. I think the most important thing is to have a sense of humor about all of it. Just, you got to you got to laugh it off and know that that’s how life goes, you know.

Ron: If I have to laugh, because if I don’t laugh then I’m going to cry. Like that, Angela?

Angela: Yeah. Well, you know, maybe, I don’t know. I mean I have a sense of humor and relax. You just chill out.

Ron: I think so. So usually things aren’t as big as we built them up to be. Sometimes they are. But you know, I’ve had some friends who’ve had some pretty massive health challenges and I’ve watched them, you know, still find joy through that process or that you know, journey and that was, I mean those things are not pleasant at all. And, you know, in addition to that, they provided joy for the people around them and instead of bringing everybody down, you know, one guy in particular that I’m thinking about, I mean he had stage four cancer and he was a great friend to everybody around him before he got the cancer. So we all, you know, we all loved him. His name is Tom Allison is just a really good guy. And so he goes in, because he had some pain in his back and comes out with stage four cancer, right.

Ron: So that mean that could, that could completely destroy your happiness, right? I mean for a second that’s, I mean, that’s got to be the worst news ever. And then you share that with all of your friends. And Tom had a way of, instead of bringing everybody down with him, is building everybody up while he was, while his health was going backwards, it was a really, really cool thing to see how he handled that. And how much joy he brought into other people’s lives. So the cool thing is, is like you were saying is that not only can joy be personal, but if you, if you’re feeling joy, you can give it to everybody else too. Which is what Tom did.

Angela: And that is what he did. That’s the next thing. So having a sense of humor is super important. But choosing to make joy a habit requires you to turn your focus outward and keep doing that over and over again. You have to shift your attention away from your problems all your difficulties yourself and keep thinking about others. And that’s what he did, that’s awesome.

Ron: It is literally impossible to keep yourself mired in your own problems when you’re helping somebody else. It’s impossible to do that. Your brain can’t, you brain can’t give 100% of your attention to someone else who’s having a challenge and at the same time keep afoot over in your mire. It’s, you can’t do it. It’s impossible.

Angela: It’s true.

Ron: To the extent that you can get out of yourself and, and help another person with whatever it is. It can be something small, doesn’t have to be anything massive. It goes a long way. You know, like that quota that I was, uh, that I love. Right. The joy you feel has little to do with the circumstances or our own mire, right. It has everything to do with the focus of our lives. So what’s the focus? If the focus is someone else, it’s really, it’s really, really hard, if not impossible to stay concerned about what’s going on with you.

Angela: Yup. Yup. Real quick example of that. I was just thinking my, you know, we helped my mom buy investment properties out of the state cause she had, she had properties here in Utah and she was, I mean she was doing okay, but she wasn’t making a great return. So we helped her get some brand new she 1031 those and got some brand new fourplexes out in Missouri. And seriously, how far was she into it? She maybe had them ,for three months when…

Ron: Before there was a fake drug bust happened. It was legitimately a drug bust that happened. There just weren’t any drugs.

Angela: Yeah. So I guess some ex-girlfriend called the cops on her ex-boyfriend, she was mad at and told them that he had drugs and the cops actually came and busted down a bunch of doors and I think they used like some kind of unexploded device on one of them.

Ron: A flash bang.

Angela: Yeah, whatever.

Ron: That burned a hole in the carpet.

Angela: Just burned a hole. And then they ended up like moving out without paying their rent and leaving all their junk. And the place was trashed.

Ron: Man that is a shocker.

Angela: I mean, and seriously, I never heard of that happening and I’d worked here, I’ve worked with you for like 10 years, you know, and I’d never heard of that happening to anyone. And it happened to my mom. And seriously, she, we all had to use a sense of humor on that and figure out, I mean, it’s a good example of this.

Angela: She had to have a sense of humor about it. She had to try to look for the positive. She found out even after dealing with that, the eviction, you know, them leaving and putting in a new tenant and fixing up the place. She still ended up cashflowing better than she did on her houses here in Utah. So she was still positive, which is awesome. And then she had to shift her attention away from herself. And she’s actually using this story as a funny, you know, inspirational story, kind of to tell other investors that, you know, even if something this crappy happens to you, you can still be successful. You know, you can still find joy in it. What?

Ron: Buck up little camper it’ll be okay.

Angela: Yeah, I mean, crazy stuff happens. You might be one of the lucky ones that doesn’t have as many curve balls and you know, investing or whatever it is you’re doing, but stuff happens and you know, you can choose how you react to it or don’t react to it and hopefully still find joy in your life and what you’re doing and find a way to help others with it. And you know, think about others instead of yourself all the time. It’s a way to feel joy. I just thought that was funny because yeah, it’s a good example.

Ron: So sense of humor. So if I’m listening to this, then what I’m taking away is that joy is a choice. I can choose whether or not I want to have joy in my life or whether I just want to sit and, you know, be one of those people that nobody wants to be around, right. So it’s a choice, number one. Number two, it’s easy as to make that choice. If you have a sense of humor about whatever’s going on and man, that’s, sometimes that’s really hard to do if it’s not going well in multiple areas of your life, it can be really difficult. But it is possible. It is possible to laugh about having a flood that is like 10 units of your property.

Angela: Yeah. I mean, that sucks, but if you can laugh, it takes away the stress, you know,

Ron: Anyway. So you cans, it’s a choice you can be, you can have joy as you’re going through the process, you know? I think the easiest way, I guess the easiest way for me, and that’s always been for me to, to do this is to think about other people and help other people while I’m going through, you know, whatever the worst challenges are in my life, it’s easiest to try and help other people.

Angela: Yeah. And joy is not a limited resource. So joy breeds joy. The more joy you share, the more joy you feel. So it only helps you and you’ll, you know, the more joy you feel, the more you want to share with others. So it’s an awesome circle of joy alright..

Ron: Okay. So do we get happiness by choosing joy? That’s the question. Can we have both, Angela? Just remember like telling my mom, I just really wanted some happiness for change. You got to work for joy. I just wanted a day where I could just sit and be happy and everything happened nice for me.

Angela: Okay. Well, I don’t know about everything happening nice for you. But I think having joy is more important than happiness, more important, you know, it lasts longer and you can’t help but be happy when you’re feeling joyful. I mean, it’s kind of, you know, they kind of go together. I think joy breeds happiness.

Ron: So it’s both and but if all you’re chasing, but if all you’re chasing is happiness, then you’re chasing something that’s fleeting and that doesn’t last

Angela: And you’re a drug addict and need to go to a program for it.

Ron: There needs to be a 12 step program for you. Yes. That’s what you’re saying.

Angela: Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much.

Ron: So as a business owner, as a business owner, if I keep hitting my goals and then I never feel satisfied. The reason I know I’ve never feel satisfied is because we really don’t, I’m going to go back to this whole vision things because I’m not actually living a joy full life. That that’s what makes me feel fulfilled is when I’m living my vision.

Angela: Exactly.

Ron: Because I’m living my vision that actually, I mean it’s like I’ve hit my goal, right? I’m living my vision, but I don’t get tired of doing that.

Angela: No, I’m glad you brought that up because there’s a difference between these goals that bring you little shocks of happiness or you know, whatever we’re calling it. And your vision, which is you living the life you enjoy, thank you. Your vision is if you guys have gone back, you know, go back and do that if you haven’t done it with Shawn McCloskey. Once you know your vision, I mean that’s your joyful life that you’re living, that’s not some goal in the future you’re living at right now, right.

Ron: I think that’s part of the reason that Shawn says, and then I concur that you should live pieces of your dream now or your vision now is because those are, those pieces can continually give you joy throughout the process while you’re trying to make all of the rest of it happen, right? And if you don’t ever get to live any of it and you’re working constantly and all you do is just work, work, work, work, work, it’s a little harder for you to have joy because you’re not looking out. We’re number one, number two, you’re not ever really giving yourself any of the pieces of your vision to live cause your constantly thinking I got to have more. And that’s that whole chasing happiness thing.

Angela: Exactly. So, yeah, go check out The Vision podcast if you haven’t yet. And I, yeah, I think that’s it. And thanks for listening guys.

Ron: I’d just like to state for the record, not bad for as tired as I was when we started.

Angela: It woke you right up and you’re feeling joyful. Nice job.

Ron: Woke me up. Great topic to wake a guy up and remind him that the beginning of his day that did not go well is okay because you know…

Angela: You can still feel joy through it. It’s a choice. Come on.

Ron: I’m choosing joy for the rest of the day.

Angela: Heck yeah. I love it. All right, well thanks for listening to everybody. You can check us out on GetRealEstateSuccess.com subscribe to our podcast. Let us know what you think. Give us any feedback comments. Let us know if there’s topics you’d want us to talk about in the future, and also check us out on Facebook, Get Real Podcast and Instagram and we’ll see you next time. Thanks for listening. Bye Ron.

Ron: See ya.

This has been The Get Real podcast to subscribe and for more information, including a list of all episodes, go to GetRealEstateSuccess.com.