Welcome to The Get Real Podcast, your high-octane boost and in the trenches tell-it-like-it-is reality therapy for personal, business and real estate investing success with your hosts, power-preneurs Angela and Ron. It’s time to get real!

Angela: Hey everyone. Welcome to The Get Real Podcast. This is Angela Thomas and I’m here with Ron Phillips. Hey Ron.

Ron: We are here pumped up today. It’s going to be good.

Angela: Sounded like you had, you know, we are here, you know something else to say there, but no.

Ron: I don’t know was that We Are Marshall?

Angela: We are here. We are pumped up. We both have sunshine today so no bragging about your beautiful weather. I got sunshine too.

Ron: Well it is mid seventies and I was sitting by the pool before you dragged me in here to do the podcast.

Angela: Okay, seriously, whatever. We’re sick of Ron, okay. So anyway, welcome to the podcast. We’re going to talk about, you know, another really fun subject. We’re going to talk about the value of time of your time and why you should say no more often.

Ron: Because Nancy Reagan said it, she said it in the 80,s you’re too young for this. But some of the people will remember just say no. Angela it was an advertising campaign by Nancy Reagan. It was her big deal when she was the first lady.

Angela: It sounds like an anti rape campaign. Was it?

Ron: No, because that wasn’t really the popular thing back in, rape is only popular nowadays, probably not going to talk about that. I will likely get in trouble if we talk about that. Me too, by the way. And no, it was just say no to drugs.

Angela: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah okay.

Ron: Which also makes sense when you think about it. So yeah, maybe we’ll steal it from Nancy Reagan today and we will say, just say no.

Angela: Just say no. It sounds easy when you say it fast, but I think the first part of, you know, learning to say no more often is to recognize the value of time. And I know we’ve talked about it before, Ron, but why are we trying to achieve financial freedom and, you know, replace our, our income and our jobs and get to this place, you know, this higher plane in our lives where we don’t have to worry about where our next, where our money’s coming from, how are paying the bills? What is the point of all that, right? It’s to free up time, not just to have money, right?

Ron: Yeah. Time is super Valuable. And I don’t know why more people don’t realize this. You know, people who our whole lives we trade our time for money and yet we don’t, we don’t actually think about that. We don’t, we don’t think about how much our time is worth. We don’t think about how much we’re being paid to trade our time for whatever it is that they’re paying us. Sometimes we don’t think about trading time for $0 either, which is even worse. Yeah. And we spend our entire lives doing that. We give up however many hours a night we sleep. If we oversleep, if we like, you know, for like my teenagers who can sleep until noon, we have basically given away an extra whatever that is, six, seven hours of our lives

Angela: Missed the whole day to sleep.

Ron: Yeah. For which we don’t get paid, right. So we’re trading it for, I’m not sure exactly what that is. I don’t remember I’m so old at this point. I don’t even remember why you would want to trade your time for sleep, but I think I’m digressing, but…

Angela: Yeah. No, there’s something wrong with me to Ron. I can’t even take a nap. I know most people, most people I talk to anyway, love their naps and you know, I have a three year old, I should want to take naps, but I can’t take a nap without thinking I’m missing out on something, it’s really strange so. Anyway, so I agree with you there. I mean, sleep is really good and it’s really important for your health, but it can be a time waster. It’s spending your time. And I think that’s really interesting. Ron, I want to talk about spending your time versus investing your time, right?

Ron: Love it.

Angela: Yeah. So what are we spending our time on? You mentioned sleep.

Ron: Facebook for me, I’m really bad.

Angela: Facebook.

Ron: Sometimes I have to take a serious fast, like a sabbatical from Facebook just to reset the fact that I don’t have to check that stupid thing all the time.

Angela: I know it becomes like a weird obsession. Like you’re going to miss out on something, which is crazy.

Ron: When if you just look at it like once a day, it notifies you of all this stuff that you would care about anyway.

Angela: Yeah. Yeah.

Ron: It’s not necessary to look at it longer and more than that.

Angela: And when you do a two week fast and you come back, are you like, oh my gosh, I missed everything. What was like thinking?

Ron: Yeah, probably not because I don’t actually know. I don’t make up the two weeks, so I’m just out.

Angela: You got to spend a lot of time on there to make up for two weeks so. So yeah, social media, you know, even of course Netflix, Netflix and chill is a huge thing, right? I mean, well maybe that has a different meaning, but Netflix is a huge time waster. Sorry, I don’t know what’s going on with me.

Ron: There’s nothing wrong with that. I didn’t say it. Angela is passing judgment on people I’m not. If you want to Netflix and chill go right ahead.

Angela: It’s fine. Except you are spending your time and you’ve got to acknowledge you’re spending time you could be using for something more valuable. And if you’re choosing to do that…

Ron: Netflix and chill with someone who’s worth investing in.

Angela: That works. So spending versus investing, right? You don’t want to just casually spend your time and not track where it’s going. You know, doing things that have no real benefit. Maybe you don’t enjoy just, you know, wasting time when you could be investing your time. And the difference of course, is that investing your time is doing something that’s actually good for you, helping you, moving you forward in some way, bettering relationships, you know, making your health better, increasing your energy. I mean, there’s, you know, there’s so many things you can do to invest your time. Obviously reading good books, right. Ron?

Ron: The other thing is that, gosh, I hate to keep bringing up Darren hardy and his awesome book, but I really love it. I listened to it a couple times a year and it’s fantastic. The Compound Effect, it’s always working. So if you’re spending your time, so to think about this another way, if you’re not investing your time and your spending it, then you’re, the compound effect is working against you. You’re going backwards if you think about it that way, right? So if you’re investing your time into stuff that is, I mean, health is really easy for people to see. It’s harder to see, you know, some of the self-help books and all that stuff, but you can physically see when you screw your health up, right?

Angela: Usually yes.

Ron: So if you are, man, if you’re just eating junk food and you’re just, if you’re not doing anything right, little by little, the compound effect is making you fat and out of shape and unhappy you can’t do anything. You get winded going up the stairs.

Angela: Yeah low energy.

Ron: It doesn’t happen overnight though. So the whole compound effect works with your time as well. So investing it’s a big deal.

Angela: It is. Yeah. And I think the first step with that is that you got to make yourself a priority, right? And that’s…

Ron: What are you saying Angela, are you saying that people should be selfish?

Angela: Yes, I am.

Ron: A little bit right.

Angela: I mean it’s really easy to let, I mean, we talked about Netflix and social media and all that, you know, eating junk food or whatever, that can all encroach on your time and you know, make you go backwards, like you said. But also people around you, people in your life can kind of suck all your time from you and you don’t even realize it. So I’m not saying don’t have good relationships with people. That is valuable time spent, if you’re building relationships and doing something together with people that you really care about, right. But it’s really easy to lose track of, you know, what you need, what you want and you got to take the time to invest in yourself. You’ve got to find that time, block it out and make yourself a priority, so.

Ron: Maybe if I’m the person that’s listening to this and saying, wow, Angela, that sounds really selfish of you, to not give your time to those around you. And since in previous episodes we’ve basically said that you have to help people out, right. That’s what we’re here to do. I think it’s important that we state right now that what Angela is saying is that you have to make time for yourself and that self time shouldn’t come out of service time it should maybe come out of Netflix time or hour long junk food eating time or any of the other time waster things that you’re doing. So because when you are actually pouring into another human being, you are investing in both yourself and that other human being. So we have the same hours in a day how we invest them is our choice. We’re not suggesting obviously the, you should be selfish. Neither is Angela. I mean we’re not saying that, but…

Angela: I was a little bit okay, but…

Ron: I said it. We are saying you should guard your time. We are definitely saying you should be in control of your time and if it doesn’t fit in as a priority for you and for what you’re trying to accomplish, you should definitely do what Angela? Just say no. Nancy Reagan just say no.

Angela: Sorry I missed my cue there, yeah. Just say no.

Ron: You did, bad.

Angela: But yeah, exactly. I’m just saying that it’s not selfish to take care of yourself and to make yourself a priority as long. I mean, if we’re honest with ourselves, all of us, I mean, I do it. I waste time. We just said we use social media too much. I’m sure I watch too many shows. I know anyone out there, no one is too busy to find time to take care of yourself and invest time in things that help you move forward.

Ron: Correct. I will, can I say something sexist? Is it okay? Angela will beat me up publicly on the air if this is sexist in the wrong way. I’m going to take a chance right now though, and I’m going to go ahead and say it, Angela. If you can’t tell is now looking backwards. She’s very concerned about what I’m going to say.

Angela: If you’re not watching the podcast you don’t know that, but let’s hear it.

Ron: I believe that women in general, especially moms, do this to themselves and enormous amount, they do not take enough time for themselves because they make everybody else a priority, especially their kids and their husbands and people that they love. I know my wife does. So I’m saying this from this very vast experience that I have of my mom and my wife.

Angela: Of two women.

Ron: Of two women. At least two women in my life who do this? But I think, I’m going out on a limb here, Angela. I think this is pretty prevalent among mothers and wives and that’s a good thing. I’m not in some seriously not saying to Bobby Joe if she ever listens to my ever that she should stop being so kind to all of us. But I am saying that if that resonant with you, you do need to take some time for yourself. So do it when the kids are in bed or you know, do it when you, when you can, but structure some time for yourself. You have to.

Angela: Yes. And as a, you know, since I am a mother and I’m allowed to say this, first of all, I agree with you and second of all, we’re not saying to sacrifice your relaxing time. Because I could imagine women are so hard on themselves too and other sexist remark, but women tend to be a little more hard on themselves and self-critical.  So I could see someone listening to this being like, oh, well I shouldn’t have watched Netflix after the kids are in bed. I should be working out or reading a self-help book or a business, you know, working on a business. That’s true to an extent. But part of taking care of yourself is getting the rest and relaxation that you need to, to be there for your family and for yourself. So that’s not at all what we’re saying, but if you’re honest with yourself and you, the next point I wanted to make, Ron was taking control of your calendar.

Angela: And I know it sounds kind of crazy, especially if you’re, you know, calendaring out your activities with your kids and all that, but if you look at your calendar and block out, just be honest with yourself when you actually do have time and you block out time with your kids and time to work on, you know, your, you know, your business goals, your personal goals, your fitness, whatever else you want to work on. You can block it all out in your calendar and then make sure you stick to it and you’ve got to make sure you put your, you know, relaxation time in there as well. But yeah, there’s, I mean, you’ll find time in there if you’re honest with yourself, time that you’re just wasting somehow throughout your week that you could use to move forward in your life. And that applies to everyone, not just women. So yeah, so that’s my point on that. And Ron is allowed to say sexist remarks because you know, you tend to have a little few feminine tendencies too, right?

Ron: Oh man, she’s punking me now.

Angela: I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Ron: That’s true, that’s true. I love to shop in light of full disclosure.

Angela: You do.

Ron: I do.

Angela: You love to shop. And you’re very kindhearted and kind of sensitive a little bit towards people, especially towards people’s feelings. We call Ron the velvet hammer around here because he has a really hard time, I mean, he, it’s awesome. It’s actually a great skill, but he, he’s very, you know, sensitive to the way other people are feeling when he’s talking to them. Has a really, really hard time cutting off any relationships, even if they’re toxic or hurtful to his company because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone or hurting anyone’s family. And I’m not saying that’s a, that’s a women trait, but we do tend to be a little bit more sensitive. So that’s why Ron’s allowed to say stuff like that, right.

Ron: I’m allowed. And just so everybody’s clear. I’m allowed to until I’m not, as soon as I step over the line, Angela let me know and then say them anymore. But I’m glad that I was right on that one because it’s a big deal. All you ladies out there, I mean, I can propose some anthems you could listen to in the morning. There’s some really good ones out there that’ll get you pumped up about, you know, taking, taking your time back and everything.

Angela: All right. Yeah, we’ll share those, you know, on our blog or something later. Okay so the next point, so the first two were number one, make yourself a priority number two take control of your calendar and actually schedule things out even if it seems weird. Number three is scale your time. And Ron, I know you talked about this, actually in the podcast that was released a couple back about, do you own a business or a job, right? So this doesn’t just apply to business, but business owners you were talking to specifically, right? You want to talk about that?

Ron: Yeah, I mean, look, we all have the same 24 hours, but I guess I would pose the question, can you create time? Can you make more of it?

Angela: I mean, I can’t, so.

Ron: The answer is you can by leveraging other people’s time.

Angela: Oh okay sorry, I missed that too.

Ron: You multiple yourself, by creating, you can literally create more time because you don’t have to do everything. And it’s really, really important to try to figure out in your life how you can do that. Because if you can scale your time, you know, you look at all these really, really successful people, they’re running so much, you look at it and you say it, this is impossible to do. It is impossible to do by yourself. You can’t do it by yourself, you know, so why try. You need to figure out how to scale your time and for everybody that’s going to be different, right?

Ron: Because in the business world, you can hire people and pay them and your personal life, wow, if you make enough money, you can hire people and pay them to, right. But most people don’t do that. Most people have to, you know, like in a family nucleus for instance, everybody has to pitch in. One person can’t do all of the household tasks. It’s impossible to make that work and have anytime to do anything else. Therefore everybody in the family has to pitch in to do that stuff so that everybody has enough time to be able to do all of the things that they want to do and the things that they have to do. So scaling your time is really, really important.

Angela: Yeah. And depending on where you are in your life, sometimes hiring people in your personal life to do things that you know, that aren’t worth your while, I’m not saying aren’t worth your time. They’re great to do. Like, you know, mowing your lawn, cleaning your house, that kind of stuff. Sometimes, or hiring a nanny for a few hours so you can work on something that’s going to help you move your life forward and get you to where you want to be. Sometimes that is the right choice for you, but you have to look at, you know, is am I going to use that time for something more valuable and is, you know, are the dollar’s worth that extra time that I get?

Ron: And sometimes you’re paying for a specialty that you do not have the time to figure out how to do. Let me give you a, for instance, I am so in touch with my feminine side that I don’t do repairs around the house. And here’s why, because it’s not worth my time to go back to your comment. It’s not worth my time to do those repairs because I will do them wrong and then I will have to either redo them or pay somebody anyway, so.

Angela: And alot of times you make it worse than you would have if you would have just hired someone, right.

Ron: I have so many stories, my wife doesn’t let me do literally anything around the house anymore because I always make it worse. So I hire professionals it is worth their time. And it is, you know, every time I hire somebody to do something around the house I pour back into the economy, which is fantastic. So you’re right, Angela, you definitely can do that. You can do that from a personal assistant stand point too with things that you can have somebody else do. You can create a job for someone else to go do if you have the money to do it, which frees up your time where you can be in your zone instead of trying to be in everybody else’s zone all at the same time.

Angela: Yeah. So true. Thanks for that Ron. So that one is scaling your time. I would say the next step here would be to, and you know, kind of going back to just say no, in order to figure out what you say yes to and what you say no to. I think it’s pretty important to know, to be in touch with your core values. And we talked a lot about those in earlier episodes, but if you don’t know what your vision is for your life and what your values are, what you truly, what you value, what your mission is, then it’s really easy to get confused and just say yes to everything. And I know there’s a movie about that isn’t there where he says yes.

Ron: There is. And you know I’m going to have my…

Angela: You can have good experiences that way, but…

Speaker 3: I’m going to go out on a limb right now, Angela, and I’m going to say that I’m going to get my buddy Sean McClosky to come and we’re going to do at least one episode, maybe two episodes on that specific thing. It is that important. So in the next few episodes look for that because there’s nobody better than I know to help people figure out what that looks like. He’s my, one of my personal coaches and he helps me with this. It is so critical as you know, Angela core values in business, which we’ve talked about at length. You’ve got to have those personally and you got to have a vision personally and it’s really, really important. So I think we should dedicate a couple of shows to it.

Angela: Definitely. And this may be a little out of order, you know, it would have been good to hear those first, but it’s good. You know, you need that to know why you’re defending your time. Otherwise you just get kind of pulled around by every wind that hits you. You need to know what you’re defending it for. And that will give you, you know, that goal to actually work towards so this all makes sense.

Ron: Plus it’s a fantastic excuse. Because we talked, I think we talked about this too. Maybe not, but there’s good, better and best. It’s not like everything you’re going to turn down is either good or bad, that’s not what we’re saying. Because a lot of the things are, they’re just fine. Matter of fact, some of them are really, really good. But they may not be the best thing for you. The only way, you know that Angela is what you said. It’s to know your vision. If you don’t know your vision, there is zero chance you’re going to get it right all of the time. No way.

Angela: I mean, you’re not going to get it right all the time anyway, but you’ll be a whole heck of a lot closer.

Ron: You’re never going to get it right. Your just going to screw it up constantly.

Angela: Yes, exactly. So that’s a super important one. Figure out your core values. And like Ron said, watch out for that episode with Sean McClosky it will be on here in the next couple of weeks. So, um, the next one, the next point is, you got to be really honest with yourself and I know we touched on this already. But you know, really look at your schedule if you need to. It might be helpful. I’ve done this before is just writing down everything I’m doing in a day and…

Ron: Love for my boy, Darren Hardy, it’s in the book. You guys should get it if you haven’t yet.

Angela: Yes. Ron is not getting a commission on that book, believe it or not, I promise.

Ron: No, no, I’m not, as much as I talk about it and as many copies as I give out, I should get a commission.

Angela: You really should. You got to work on that. Yeah.

Ron: Yeah. I love the book though. It’s really good. You should go get it.

Angela: Yeah. So all of us have, you know, things we’re doing every day that we don’t realize are eating up our time. Facebook, you know, social media is a huge one of those, but you could be wasting time in extra meetings that you don’t need or, you know, talking on the phone or whatever it is, watching TV, eating, I don’t know. But if you write down everything in your day, it’s a lot easier to see what those things are so that you can consciously remove them from your life. And that takes a lot of honesty. Sometimes it’s a little painful to see how much time you’re actually wasting on things that don’t add any value to your life.

Ron: The IPhone was a big, they finally got this, using, I don’t know what it’s called, usage thing app on your phone and I looked at them and I was like, oh my gosh.

Angela: Oh my gosh, I know how many hours you spend.

Ron: That’s where the first came sabbatical came from right there, man. I just, it was bad and I thought this is so silly. I don’t even have notifications. So this is me actually going in and checking. Didn’t even ding at me Ron going in and checking is, it was bad. So I backed it off quite a bit…

Angela: And I don’t want to go off on a rant here, but Ron, I think we’re both old enough to remember this. Do you remember back, I remember the very first cell phone I got in college was just a cell phone there was no internet. It was just calling and texting. The next one I got, I was so excited, right after college because it had just a browser, just internet on it and oh my gosh, I can’t even remember what I used to do with all that time before. Because it’s amazing how much time, even if you didn’t have social media, I remember just looking crap up on the internet, just sitting there reading stuff on my phone for hours on end. And before that, what was I doing? I was probably doing something more productive like reading a book or talking to a friend. I don’t know something outside.

Ron: I know that people of your age group and younger, Angela are not going to believe this. But in order in order to ask a girl out or a guy, in your case when you, when I was young, you actually had to do it face to face with a folded up note or which meant you had to be close enough to pass the note. So they saw you face to face.

Angela: With the little boxes, yes or no.

Ron: Or you had to call them on the phone and actually speak to them after their dad answered the phone and then you asked to talk to his daughter.

Angela: Okay. I know you think I’m way younger than you, but I did have to do the calling thing on the old land line with the cord, okay.

Ron: That’s because you’re, that’s only because your mom just, that’s the way she did it which I think is beneficial, right. That’s probably why you’re not the typical millennial. We have completely…

Angela: We have, we have I’m sorry.

Ron: I did it, I did it, but it is important that we, you know, you’re honest with yourself and you don’t, you know, don’t let yourself off the hook.

Angela: Yeah. Thinking back to what you used to do before the phone, I mean it can’t hurt. So that was my only point there. Okay so next point, number six, pleasing everyone else leaves you debilitating, okay. So we talked about this a little bit. We were a little sexist and said women tend to say yes more often and have a hard time, you know, with saying no tends to be true. But there’s a lot of people pleasers out there. I mentioned Ron, I don’t want to throw you under the bus again, but Ron’s a little bit of a people pleaser. He doesn’t want people to be mad at him, which is understandable, you know.

Ron: You can get away with that since you’re in Utah, she’s nowhere near me people.

Angela: No, you know, I actually, people like Ron more because of that, you know, he’s a really likable guy and, and easy to get along with and doesn’t want to hurt anyone. I tend to be a little bit more abrupt and I probably puts people off so, oh well it’s okay.

Ron: I would have never said that.

Angela: I threw myself under the bus. It’s okay.

Ron: It is important because of the topic we’re talking about. It is important to point that out because it can get you in a lot of trouble. It has me in the past too. In business holding onto people longer than I should, just because I like them rather than that they’re actually providing value to the business and same thing in your personal life. So, you know, don’t hold on to the people who are dragging you down. It’s pathetic. Just stop it.

Angela: Yeah. Just be a little bit selfish. Stop trying to please everybody. Look for ways to please and yourself and to move yourself forward.

Ron: If you’re like me, having that personal vision helps you do that because then you can just blame your vision. You know, I’m sorry you don’t fit in it.

Angela: That’d be like what?

Ron: No, that doesn’t really help you out…

Angela: Your name is not on this list, okay. Sorry. Sorry. Or your calendar that you planned out so carefully, right so.

Ron: We’re in rare form today, I’m not sure what’s happening.

Angela: Yeah, I know. I know. Okay, next one. So number seven is embrace the no, here we go. So just say no. Like, like we said is what we’re talking about here. You know, you got to get comfortable with saying no and the only way to do that, the only way to get more comfortable with anything is to do it more often.

Ron: Here’s what I think everybody should do. You should either move to New York or New Jersey for a little while so you can understand how it is.

Angela: No, I don’t think that’s really helpful advice Ron.

Ron: Sorry, I just thought maybe they were better at it than everybody else in the planet, but maybe not.

Angela: No, I think they are. They are a lot more abrupt. So since I’m from California, I’m on the wrong side of the country there, that doesn’t come naturally.

Ron: No offense to all of my awesome friends up in New York who are right now probably agreeing with me. That’s really what they’re probably doing.

Angela: No, we’re complimenting them. It’s awesome that they’re so good at it. We’re jealous, you know. The rest of us that have the tendency to say yes without thinking need to actively start trying to say no more often to get used to it and to become more comfortable with it. See how it feels. So okay, next one. Ron, you added this one to my list. So you want to…

Ron: I did, I think it applies here. Everybody always makes a to do list. And what I’m going to suggest is that you make a not to do list or a stop doing list.

Angela: I like that.

Ron: So say no to others say no to yourself, wherever things don’t fit right now you could probably make that list if you actually got out a pen and paper or that’s pretty old school. You could just do it on the computer, start writing all of the things you think you should stop doing in your life. I guarantee you there’s plenty of them. When I first did this it was in business and it was fantastic. Saved us a lot of money. It was really good. I think it will be eye opening for people if you actually, instead of making a to do list today, make a not to do list today. Stop doing list.

Angela: And then anything on that list you got to say no to.

Ron: Yeah just stop doing it. Just cut it out.

Angela: Cool. Well I like that that’s great. So just to rehash really quick. So those steps were, make yourself a priority to take control of your calendar, scale your time, figuring out your core values. And we’ll have another episode on that coming up if you need help with that, be honest with yourself, stop trying to please everyone. Embrace the no and make a stop doing lists. So, just yeah, I just think it’s really important that you guys, so your action items from this would be, you know, stop or you don’t try to say no more often.

Angela: And if that’s too hard, maybe start with not automatically saying yes. Get yourself out of the habit of just saying yes without thinking about it. At least give yourself time to evaluate it, you know, check it against your vision and your plan for yourself and see if it fits. And then you got to make sure that everything you say yes to either aligns with your core values and vision and moves you forward in life, or is something that you just really enjoy and that you’re choosing to spend your time on. So, yeah. Cool that’s it I think that’s it on that subject, so.

Ron: I hope everybody enjoy that and you know, and, and implemented. It’s a, it’ll be a game changer if you do.

Angela: It will. So let us know what you think. Go to our, uh, our podcast website. It’s GetRealEstateSuccess.com and give us any feedback you have. Let us know if there’s any subjects you want to hear about. And yeah, please also check us out on ITunes, give us a rating on there, write a review, if you have time, that’d be great and thanks for listening. We’ll talk to you next time. Bye Ron.

Ron: Talk to you next time. 

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